A Toxic Flutterby
Golden rays!
Ejaculation of the drawing sun
I was sitting there
On the riverbed
Admiring the evening,
As if it would never arise after
Fear of loneliness and darkness
Someone threw a stone into the river
I was reactless
Though there was an urge to turn back
And raise my brows
But I remained quiet
Then another
Then another
I waited
Ripples sat on a stage
Then it started to reflect a face like
She
That girl
In that house near the lane top
I knew her
With her curvy nose
And curveless body
Conversing eyes
A long time ago
I had a crush on her
But I didn't react to that emotion
As it's as far as touching a star
"Hi," she said!
"Me?" I asked!
"Yes, you!
What are you doing?"
"Nothing,"
"Hmm...
But admiring nature"
That's how all these things started
We spoke
We listened
We sang
We walked
We...
We slept until the night was warm
Everything I yearned for from afar
Everything I ever dreamt of
These everythings are within my reach
Happiness
A person to vent to
A bunch of bouquets
Love letters
She offered a lot
She bought things for me
Even without asking
PS 2
Linen shirts
Headset
Diary
Innerwear
Sunglasses
Perfume
And more
At the very beginning, I hesitated
But she gave assurance
A kiss on the forehead
A kiss on the nose
And on the lips and bites
I started to love these lovely gestures
Her parents were toxic
Her dad sleeps with a colleague's woman
Her mother spends her nights drinking in pubs
She was alone
Careless
I offered her a lot
Even without her asking
Shoulders to lay on
Warmth to keep her safe
Words
Flowers from the riverbed
Listenings
Meaningful nods
And more
She was winged to explore the world
We hugged even tighter
We walked even farther
We spoke even more
We slept all day
I was overwhelmed
I was writing poems
I was blessed
Then one night
After every cricket stopped chirping
We met at her home
As usual, her parents left somewhere
"Will you leave me one day?" she asked
"Never until my breath lasts," I replied
We hugged
One day I saw her with a rich man
Taller than me
Fairer than me
And far, far richer than me
Later on, when we met after a long time
I asked her why
"Why? In the sense?" she replied
"I saw you with another man"
"When?"
I mentioned the date
"He was my childhood friend"
"It's okay"
"Why so close?"
"We were talking"
"Is it? But it wasn't like it seems"
"What do you mean?"
"There might be a connection between you"
"Did you see anything happening?"
"Nothing! But you were close to him"
"You homeless shit," she said
With tears in my eyes
I slapped her
In return
She scolded me
"You scum of a dog
Even a stray would have shown some gratitude to me
But you
Things I bought for you, homeless shit"
For the second time!
I slapped her
For the second time!
She kicked my balls and spat on me
That's how I again started to admire golden rays
I was toxic that day
I should have communicated very well to figure it out
She was mad
But she was right
I'm a homeless toxic insecure stray
Sometimes love works this way
I should keep counting the minutes to be totally engulfed in darkness
And to think of her
Indeed
I'm a toxic bastard!
- Hajan Anbunadhan -
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